Last night, under the influence of 99 Apples, a novel and exciting new form of martial art was born...
Haiku-do: Path of the Poet.
The haiku is a form of Japanese poetry which has been around in its current form since the last years of the nineteenth century. The modern haiku is a short, succinct poem consisting of three lines of five, seven and five syllables. A seasonal reference is traditional - in haiku-do combat this reference is not obligatory, but may give one combatant the advantage if used shrewdly.
Haiku-do, the Path of the Poet, is a martial art based on the strict and formal structure of modern haiku poetry, replicating the thrill of duelling in the form of an exchange of short verses between combatants. This extended form of haiku is known traditionally as haikai poetry, and forms the basis of the typical haiku-do combat.
Each warrior-poet challenges his foe to a duel, in which the combatants trade verses of haiku until one is defeated or submits to his opponent's superiority.
In the first verse, the first combatant issues a declaration of how mighty their haiku prowess is, and daring any challengers to face them in combat. In the second verse, the challenger steps up and declares his intent to best the first combatant. Subsequent rounds involve the two combatants taking turns to trade haiku describing how peerless their skills are and how they will utterly destroy their foe.
Defeat conditions include miscounting syllables, using stupid cliché lines ("Cherry blossom falls" being the typical example of this, as it fits the five-syllable end-line format, but is often considered trite and unoriginal), or coming up with a haiku which is irrelevant or just lame.
Incidentally, this would make a splendid challenge-resolution mechanic for diceless oriental roleplay, as the players are required to come up with haiku describing how surpassingly well they achieve whatever action they are attempting. For example, rather than making a simple Spot Hidden roll:
Like the watchful hawk
Soaring high on graceful wings
My vision is keen.
Or a ninja attempting to do something sneaky:
I am shinobi.
The shadows are my kingdom;
I pass by unseen.
Bonus degrees of success are dependent on the poetry and lyricism of the resulting haiku.
So, the rules explained, a typical haiku-do duel would begin thus:
Your haiku is weak!
My poetry reigns supreme!
Who will test my skill? | 
